Share These Silly Valentine’s Day Jokes With All Your Loved Ones (2024)

You know what they say—the best way to someone's heart is through their funny bone! Okay, maybe that isn't what they say, but it's what we say! 😂 After all, who doesn't appreciate a quick sense of humor or a great joke in a partner or best friend? It may not be a substitute for a romantic dinner or a thoughtful Valentine's Day gift, but a good joke is sure to enhance any romantic activity and win their heart this February 14!

Of course, a few romantic quotes in your Valentine's Day card or social post are great, but a delightfully bad pun is guaranteed to put a smile on your significant other's face. Even better—many of these goofy riddles double as sweet Valentine's lunch box jokes for your kids!

Ahead, you'll find so many Valentine's Day puns, one-liners, and knock-knock jokes to choose from that your family will find hilarious. Ask them if they know what to call two birds in love: tweethearts! Or, how about what one pickle asked the other? Will you be brine? If you're known for your quick wit, these jokes might even make fun Valentine's Day captions for your cute pictures from the day. Even if you're just in search of a little pick-me-up with the day's theme, then look no further than these funny Valentine's Day quotes and jokes. You can't help but giggle!

Valentine's Day Dad Jokes

• When do bed bugs fall in love? In the spring.
• What did the paper clip say to the magnet on Valentine's Day? I find you very attractive!
• Why did the boy bring a ladder to his girlfriend's house on Valentine's Day? Because he heard the stakes were high!
• Where do all the hamburgers take their dates on Valentine’s Day? The meat ball.
• What’s Cupid’s favorite band? Kiss!
• Why did the skeleton break up with his girlfriend before Valentine's Day? Because he didn't have the guts to ask her out!
• What did the bacon say to the tomato on Valentine's Day? Lettuce be together!
• Why was the math book sad on Valentine's Day? Because it had too many problems!
• What did the pickle say to its Valentine? You mean a great dill to me!
• Why did the boy bring a broom to his Valentine's Day date? Because he wanted to sweep her off her feet!
• What did one piece of toast say to the other on Valentine’s Day? You’re my butter half.
• Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you.
• What did the calculator say to its Valentine? You can count on me!
• What’s the difference between you and a calendar? A calendar has a date for Valentine’s Day.
• Why did the girl bring a ladder to her Valentine's Day date? Because she heard love was in the air!
• What did the squirrel say to the other squirrel on Valentine's Day? You drive me nuts!
• What did the chef give to his wife on Valentine’s Day? A hug and a quiche.
• Why do melons have to get married in church? Because they cantaloupe.
• What did the beer say to the wine? You're grape!
• Why did the banana go out with the prune on Valentine's Day? Because it couldn't find a date!
• What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day? I’m stuck on you!
• What do you call a squad of baby Cupids? An infantry.
• What kind of flower should you never give on Valentine’s Day? A cauliflower!
• What do you call a very small Valentine?A Valen-tiny!
• What do you call it when two young fish are in love? Guppy love.
• Why shouldn't you trust a pastry chef on Valentine's Day? Because he'll dessert you.
• How do you keep a jewelry store safe on Valentine's Day? You locket.
• What do elephants say to one another on Valentine's Day? I love you a ton.
• Do you play soccer? Because you're a keeper!
• Do you have a date for Valentine's Day? Yes, February 14!
• What do squirrels say to each other on Valentine's Day? I'm nuts about you!
• How do chefs show their love? They whisk you off your feet!
• How did the telephone propose to its girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
• Why were the scientists a perfect match? Cause they had great chemistry!
• What does Nicolas Cage say on Valentine's Day? You've caged my heart.

Corny Valentine's Day Jokes

• If I were to lay eleven roses next to you, you'd make the perfect dozen.
• Is your name Chapstick? Because I think you're da balm!
• Do you know what this shirt is made of? Hubby/wifey material.
• You're like a dictionary… you add meaning to my life.
• What did the flame say when he met the love of his life? I found the perfect match!
• What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine's Day? Hogs and kisses.
• I must be a snowflake because I've fallen for you.
• Why should you never laugh at your significant other's choices? Because you’re one of them!
• What's the difference between love and marriage? Love is blind, while marriage is an eye-opener!
• Do you have an ice pack? I bonked my head falling for you.
• You and I are like socks—we make a great pair!
• If I were a cat, I'd spend all nine lives with you.
• Are you a cat? Cause you are purrfect.

Pun Valentine's Day Jokes

• I think you are porcu-fine.
• Your name must be Autumn because I am falling for you.
• Don't worry about paying rent! You can live inside my heart for free.
• You’re like my favorite card in a deck: the king/queen of *my* heart.
• I dig you a hole lot.
• What do pickles say on Valentine's day? Will you be brine!
• What did one boat say to the other boat? Are you interested in a little row-mance?
• Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me!
• What do Italians say to each other on Valentine's Day? You’ve got a pizza my heart.
• Why do you need a charcuterie board on Valentine's day? It’s the best way to say brie mine, Valentine.
• What does Kevin Bacon say to his wife? Don't go bacon my heart.
• Why are we like chips and avocados? You guac my world!
• What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!
• How do werewolves send Valentines? By hair-mail!
• What did one lightbulb say to the other on Valentine's Day? I love you a whole watt!

Valentine's Day Knock-Knock Jokes

• "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Eyesore." "Eyesore, who?" "Eyesore do love you a lot."
• "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Juno." "Juno, who?" "Juno that you're the love of my life?"
• "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Honeydew." "Honeydew, who?" "Honeydew you know how much I love you?"
• "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Pauline." "Pauline, who?" "I think I'm Pauline in love with you."
• "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Olive." "Olive who?" "Olive you!"
• "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Justin." "Justin who? "Justin time for your Valentine!"
• "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Luke." "Luke who?" "Luke who just got a Valentine!"
• "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Frank." "Frank who?" "Frank you for being my Valentine!"
• "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Peas." "Peas who?" "Peas be my Valentine!"
• "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Sherwood." "Sherwood who?" "Sherwood love you to be mine."
• "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Butter." "Butter who?" "Butter pucker up Valentine!"
• "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Bea." "Bea who?" "Bea mine Valentine!"