75+ Funniest Valentine Quotes to Tickle Your Funny Bone This Love Season (2024)

In this collection, we’ve shifted through the comedic treasures of affection, curating a selection of funny Valentine’s Day lines that will not only make you smile but will also serve as the perfect companions for those looking to infuse their Valentine’s Day with a touch of lightheartedness.

Funny valentine quotes

In a world that often takes itself too seriously, infusing the season of love with a hearty dose of laughter is refreshing. Enter the realm of the funniest Valentine quotes that promise to tickle your funny bone and add a playful twist to this special occasion. In this delightful journey through the lighter side of love, we will explore a collection of funny Valentine’s Day lines that capture the essence of romance with a side-splitting punchline.

1. “Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.” – Marilyn Monroe

2. “Valentine’s Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot.” – Milton Berle

3. “I’m not saying my wife’s a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.” – Bob Monkhouse

4. “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

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5. “Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance.” – Oscar Wilde

6. “I asked my wife, ‘Will you still love me when I’m old and bald?’ She said, ‘I do.'” – Anonymous

7. “I love you like a Hobbit loves a second breakfast.” – Unknown

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8. “Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.” – Unknown

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9. “I wish love were like volleyball, you call ‘mine’ and everyone backs off.” – Unknown

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10. “My love life is like a romantic comedy except there’s no romance and it’s just me laughing at my own jokes.” – Unknown

11. “Valentine’s Day: when a card just isn’t enough to say, ‘I’m sorry your ex was an idiot.'” – Demetri Martin

12. “I love you more than a pizza delivery on a rainy day.” – Unknown

13. “I love you with all my belly. I would say heart, but my belly is bigger.” – Unknown

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14. “Love is sharing your popcorn.” – Charles Schultz

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15. “Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid is.” – Unknown

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16. My wife says I only have two faults: I don’t listen and something else.” – Anonymous

17. “Love is like an onion; you peel it off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.” – Carl Sandburg

18. “I love you like a cat loves ignoring me when I call its name.” – Unknown

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19. “True love is waking up next to your partner and thinking, ‘I could murder a sandwich.'” – Kris Wheatley

20. “Valentine’s Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don’t have a special someone, you’re alone.” – Lewis Black

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Hilarious Valentine’s Day Quotes

Amidst the sea of sentimental gestures during Valentine’s Day, there exists a treasure trove of hilarity that often goes unnoticed. Enter the realm of hilarious Valentine’s Day quotes—a celebration of love wrapped in laughter, proving that even Cupid has a mischievous sense of humor. In this whimsical exploration, we’ll delve into a collection of side-splittingly funny Valentine’s Day quotes that redefine the way we perceive Valentine’s Day.

21. “The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.” – Blaise Pascal

22. “Love is an endless mystery, for it has nothing else to explain it.” – Rabindranath Tagore

23. “Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.” – Lynda Barry

24. “True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.” – Francois de La Rochefoucauld

25. “I think, therefore I’m single.” – Liz Winston

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26. “Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” – Robert A. Heinlein

27. “Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.” – Harlan Miller

28. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” – Charles M. Schulz

29. “Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.” – Lynda Barry

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30. “The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.” – Sophie Tucker

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31. “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” – Albert Einstein

32. “Love is a grave mental disease.” – Plato

33. “Love is an endless mystery, for it has nothing else to explain it.” – Rabindranath Tagore

34. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin

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35. “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde

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36. “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.” – Joan Crawford

37. “Love is a game that two can play and both win.” – Eva Gabor

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38. “Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.” – Woody Allen

39. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?” – H. L. Mencken

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40.“I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that, they just about throw up.” – Barbara Bush

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Silly Valentine’s Day Quotes

Amid roses, chocolates, and heartfelt cards, there exists a rich tapestry of hilarity that adds a touch of mirth to the season of love. Welcome to the uproarious world of silly Valentine’s Day quotes, where Cupid’s arrows come with a side of laughter and the language of love is fluent in wit. These Valentine’s Day Funny quotes are poised to be the stars of your special day celebration.

41. “Love is an ocean of emotions, surrounded by expenses.” – Thomas Dewar

42. “Love is like pi – natural, irrational, and it goes on forever.” – Lisa Hoffman

43. “Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” – Natasha Leggero

44.“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours; if they don’t, make them a snack.” – Unknown

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45. “The four most important words in any marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.'” – Unknown

46. “I love you more than my dog, and that’s saying a lot.” – Unknown

47. “Love is an emotional roller coaster, but marriage is the theme park.” – Unknown

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48. “My wife says I only have two faults: I don’t listen and something else.” – Anonymous

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49. “Valentine’s Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot.” – Unknown

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50. “My love for you is like a candle – it may go out, but I’ll still use the wax to make you hot.” – Unknown

51. “Love is like a WiFi signal – it might be there, but you can’t always connect.” – Unknown

52. “I love you more than my bed, but please don’t make me prove it in the morning.” – Unknown

53. “Love is like an awkward hug – uncomfortable but you just go with it.” – Unknown

54. “I love you like a nerd loves their comic book collection.” – Unknown

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55. “Love is telling someone their jokes aren’t funny but making them feel good about it.” – Unknown

56. “My love life is like a romantic comedy, minus the romance and just me laughing at my own jokes.” – Unknown

57. “Love is sharing your popcorn, but refusing to share your fries.” – Unknown

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58. “I love you more than a cat loves a laser pointer.” – Unknown

59. “Valentine’s Day is the only day I can get away with eating all the chocolate I want. Wait, that’s every day.” – Unknown

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60.“Love is being together through both the good hair days and the bad ones.” – Unknown

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Witty Valentine’s Day Quotes

This celebration of love takes a different route, where laughter accompanies affection, and cleverness becomes the language of endearment. So, join us as we embark on a journey through the corridors of humorous Valentine’s Day quotes, where love is not only expressed but celebrated with a sparkle in the eye and a quip on the tongue. These witty Valentine quotes offer a breath of fresh air, challenging the conventional notions of romance with a playful twist that is bound to resonate with those who appreciate the art of linguistic charm.

61. “I love you more than my phone, and that’s saying something.” – Unknown

62. “I asked my cat if it would be my Valentine. It walked away. Guess that’s a ‘no’.” – Unknown

63. “Love is like a snowflake – it’s beautiful but melts away quickly.” – Unknown

64. “I love you more than Netflix loves asking if you’re still watching.” – Unknown

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65. “Valentine’s Day: the one day when people who are single get to say, ‘I told you so.'” – Unknown

66. “Love is like a roller coaster – thrilling, but sometimes you feel like you’re going to throw up.” – Unknown

67. “I love you more than a dog loves chasing its own tail.” – Unknown

68. “Valentine’s Day is the day we remember who really loves us – the credit card company.” – Unknown

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69. “Love is like a selfie – sometimes you have to retake it a hundred times to get the perfect shot.” – Unknown

70. “I love you more than a kid loves their favorite toy. Well, almost.” – Unknown

71. “Love is like a pizza – good even when it’s bad.” – Unknown

72. “Valentine’s Day is the only day it’s acceptable to like your own Facebook posts.” – Unknown

73. “Love is like a fine wine – it gets better with age, and sometimes it gives you a headache.” – Unknown

74. “I love you more than a squirrel loves nuts.” – Unknown

75. “Valentine’s Day is the day to remind your partner that you still know how to use a pen.” – Unknown

76. “Love is like coffee – hot, strong, and sometimes a little bitter.” – Unknown

77. “I wanted to make it special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours, I watched whatever I wanted on TV.” – Tracy Smith

78. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade.” – Unknown

79. “Love is an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” – Jules Renard

80. “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then, we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield

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Explore the humor in love with these funniest Valentine’s quotes.